Neurodiversity Affirming Prenatal and Postpartum Therapy in Middlesex, New Jersey

During pregnancy, everyone is interested in how mom is doing. “Does mom have morning sickness? Is the baby kicking yet? Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”—the constant questions about doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, etc. But no one is really asking how YOU are doing. And once the baby is here, forget it… It’s all about them. It’s like you don’t exist anymore. Like you’re not important. What matters is how the baby is. “Is the baby eating enough? Is the baby sleeping?” But what about you?

You thought you knew what being tired was, but you had no clue until you had a baby. Your days consist of multi-tasking. You multi-task like you’ve never multi-tasked before. Nap when the baby naps, they say? Well, how can you? The only time you have to get things done is when the baby is asleep. I mean, when else are you going to clean up, do laundry, dishes, etc.?

You. Don’t. Sleep. How can you? Baby is up all night crying, and when baby is actually asleep, you are up worrying about if the baby is okay or thinking, “I wonder how much sleep I can get before baby starts crying again?” You. Don’t. Sleep.

Family comes to visit the baby. You don’t even want them there. You don’t have the energy to “entertain”.

You don’t have the brain for it.

You don’t get a break.

You don’t have any time for yourself.

Self-care? What’s that? You go days without showering because, well you don’t have time. If you do have time to shower, it’s a quick 5-minute shower. You better scrub well since you won’t have time to shower again for a few more days. Hobbies? What are those? You don’t even have time to watch a 30-minute television show. Every time you try, there is always an interruption. “Have someone care for the baby so you can take a break?” How can you when you don’t really trust anyone? No one knows how to care for the baby like you do; if you go out, you will just be worrying about the baby anyway. There is no time for you.

You don’t know how you are even functioning. You are barely functioning. You are starting to lose your patience when you are with your baby. Sometimes you feel like shaking them and saying, “Just tell me what you want?!” You feel like you are going crazy and are about to break! But wait? You can’t allow yourself to get this point? Who is going to take care of the baby if you can’t? I mean, you are their parent. They rely on you for everything.

These are the thoughts that may be going on through your head. Thoughts that are starting to get louder. Maybe you are having other thoughts. Scary thoughts…Thoughts you are too embarrassed and ashamed to have. You feel so alone…

You thought this was a phase. You thought you were just struggling temporarily to adjusting to it all and that things would go back to how they were pre-baby. Even better than they were since now you have a baby and the family you wished and dreamed for. You NEED to be happy. But you’re not.

Imagine…

Being able to manage your emotions

Feeling like you have control over them.

No longer experiencing so many feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Letting all your negative thoughts go and bringing in positive, hopeful thoughts, healthy thoughts

Imagine….

Finding peace and calm in your day

Having time for yourself

Having time to do absolutely nothing, if that’s what you want

Imagine…

Being present with your child

Having a strong bond and connection with them

Feeling love in your heart when you hold them or when they smile at you

Imagine…

Feeling a closer connection to others

Enjoying spending time with them

Laughing

Having fun

Can you imagine?

The journey into parenthood is often depicted as a time of joy, love, and connection with a new baby. However, for many women and men, this transition can also bring forth unexpected emotions and challenges, such as postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. The darkness of these conditions can be overwhelming, but with the right support, including the guidance of a perinatal therapist, postpartum life can take a positive and transformative turn.